5 Self-Care Tips to Help You Manage Genital Herpes Outbreaks

One of the most important things we can do in our lives is tend to our needs. Oftentimes, we make our way through each day running on empty, when all that’s needed is a little personal TLC to help us truly be our best selves — and that’s especially true when living with genital herpes.

A herpes diagnosis is generally met with panic, shame, anger, or all of the above, but self-care may be the answer to moving forward. We asked Jessica Shepherd, MD, an obstetrician-gynecologist and member of the  Verywell Health Medical Review Board, and Jenelle Marie Pierce, executive director of The STI Project and sex educator, to share their tips on what self-care looks like before and during a genital herpes outbreak.

Take time to educate yourself on genital herpes outbreaks.

 “There are a lot of misconceptions and myths out there,” says Shepherd. “Once people understand what herpes is, how common it is, that it can be treated — not cured but treated — they feel better about the diagnosis and not so alone. Then that allows them to feel empowered.”

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), one in six women between the ages of 14 and 49 have herpes and 776,000 people are infected every year, though they may not know it until they get tested. If you’re feeling isolated, it’s important to understand that a diagnosis  can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, race, sexuality, or number of sexual partners. 

By learning more about not only how common herpes is, but effective ways to manage it, you’ll feel more at ease.

Get regular STI testing.

“STI testing has become part of my self-care practice,” says Pierce. “I’ll get tested every six months to a year, even though I’m in a monogamous relationship. But before I was married, I would test every three to six months, and then I’d do something to treat myself like a manicure and pedicure. This would be part of a whole day: go out, grab lunch, get my tests done, go to TJ Maxx, whatever felt like, ‘Congratulations, you’re doing something good and proactive and you’re being responsible with your health.’”

Rather than viewing regular STI screenings as a hassle, see them as a special moment of taking back control. By regularly being aware of your status and talking to your doctor along the way, you’ll become more in tune with your body and learn ways to find relief from a possible positive diagnosis.

Be open to talking about it.

Though you may be feeling shame or vulnerability post-diagnosis, Shepherd suggests opening up to trusted family, friends, and certainly always to partners. Communicating about what you’re going through can alleviate those negative feelings. It may help someone else as well. “Feeling that you have advocates in this journey [is helpful]. There are a lot more websites and people who are openly discussing [living with herpes] now,” says Shepherd.

Resources such as The STI Project and other advocacy groups make it easy for you to connect with others going through a similar experience. By sharing, you can help break the stigma and further advance how herpes is treated. 

Give yourself grace.

“Stress is a big part of how our immune system works,” says Shepherd. “When you’re stressed, inflammatory markers are released. Stress decreases the ability for the immune system to take care of the things that it needs to, and when it can't do its job, that's when the virus has the opportunity to have an outbreak and come out of hiding.”

Leading up to, and during, an outbreak, practice mindfulness and activities that will help keep your stress levels low. Be patient with yourself, understand that each day is different, and that your feelings are valid.

“Some days you just don't feel that great, and sometimes it's okay to sit on the couch, take a nap and not get as much done,” says Pierce. “Other days you want to hustle and that's also wonderful. Supporting myself in all of those stages and experiences is vital.”

Take a beat, take a breath, and hold space for yourself, as Pierce has learned to. Tuning into what your body needs and honoring that will make living with herpes much more manageable.

Resources: 

CDC: Genital Herpes – CDC Basic Fact Sheet